Many years ago, when I first moved in the town where I live, I had the privilege of working with a great supervisor named John for a few months. Unfortunately though, he retired shortly thereafter. Anyway, it is a customary at work to give a retirement party for the person who is leaving, and part of the ritual is to write a song in honor of that person.

Here’s the song that was written by RW.

Every morning at the PO you could see him arrive
He stood 6″4′ and weighed 265
Kinda wide at the shoulders and wide at the hips
And if you asked a question he’d say “I am workin on it”, Big John
Big John, Big Jooo–ohn, Big Bad John Big John

Nobody seemed to know where John called home
He just drifted into town and stayed all alone
He brought him some cars and he drove them hard
Then he made them lawn art in his back yard, Big John

Somebody said he came from New York City
And imagined himself as kinda pretty
After coming to Payson, he got kinda fat
As for diet, he was “just thinkin about that” Big John
Big John, Big Jooo–ohn, Big Bad John, Big John

Then came the day at the supervisor’s desk
White tubs were piled high, it was really a mess
When all of the sudden they started to sway
And somebody yelled “Get out of the way!” to Big John

In the paper dust of that Man-made hell
Sat a giant of a man that the workers knew well
As the mail came crashing down towards his chair
They heard him say, “It’s here somewhere” Big John
Big John, Big Joo–ohn Big Bad John Big John

Then all at once he shouted, “Gol-Darn!”
And he stopped the slide with his great big arm
And twenty workers scrambled from a would-be grave
And now there’s only one left down there to save, Big John

With picks and shovels they dug for a while
Then came that sound from under the pile
And they noticed an ODOR rising fast
And everybody knew that he’d passed gas, Big John
Big John, Big Jooo—ohn, Big Bad John… Big John

Now they never uncovered that worthless pile
They just placed a marble stand right there on the tile
And these few words are written on that stand
“We all got to work for a pretty good man, Big John”
Big John, Big Jooo–ohn, Have fun John.

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